You Make Me Wanna Shoop…

If there’s one thing that you should know about me from reading my blog, it is that…

I AM a Salt n’ Pepa LOVAAAAH.

Ok, so maybe I haven’t made that clear on here…

or even mentioned them before…

but their music blasted from my sister’s brown, wood-paneled station wagon

my entire 8th-9th grade years.

And I admit, I dutifully wrote out every single word to “Shoop”

so that I could memorize those beautiful lyrics. 

I studied those rhymes like an asian kid studies math. 

(Which I can say, because I’m half-Japanese).

So when their Legends of Hip Hop tour came to the Richmond Coliseum on Friday, while David was being extremely MANLY, my friends and I totally decided to “Push It” down the highway to go get our groove on.

(You see what I did there?  I totally used one of their greatest hits in my last sentence.)

And. It. Was. Glorious.

Except for when they ended after only singing like 5 songs…

We were like, “WTF, SNP?”

(See below)

But I’d do it all again.

Because I’m crazy like that…

And because I still know each and every word to “Shoop,”

and believe it or not, I don’t get to use that knowledge as much as I’d like to.

Bringin’ Home the Bacon

My man is a MANLY MAN, which I have to say- I LOVE. 

I mean, I’m all for women’s rights and whatnot,

but they kinda go out the window when there is an icky bug in my house. 

“Daaaaaaaavid!  Come kill this bug!!”

So last weekend, my manly man brought home the bacon.

LITERALLY.

He went hog hunting…

in the Wooley Swamp…

with his fraternity brothers from college…

without his toothbrush. 

You really can’t GET more MASCULINE than that…

(and yes, I totally waited until he brushed his teeth when he got home

before I gave him a real “Welcome Home” kiss.)

He brought home a big ol’ hog, which took him several hours to cut into proper portion sizes

 even after they quartered it for him at the farm.

The boys…

Proud hunter with his prize.

*insert man grunt here… and scratch some balls*

Popcorn

I learned in school that it is best not to speak in extremes, unless you KNOW something to be a fact

For instance, you shouldn’t say, “All dogs have four legs,” because…

(Poor baby.)

Or, “All men are idiots,” because…

(He doesn’t warrant a ‘Poor Baby’ in my mind.)

But there are two things in this world that I KNOW with absolute certainty…

Number 1. 

I have THE BEST single-word impressions from
The Little Mermaid (I can do several different characters!).
 

(I mean seriously, it is EERIE how spot-on I am.)

Number 2.

The only person IN THE WORLD who doesn’t look absolutely starving when they eat popcorn…

… is my daughter, Addi. 

She takes her little delicate hands and eats one tiny popcorn kernel at a time… and you would never guess that this is the way she chooses to eat popcorn, because she shovels steak into her mouth by the handful… like the rest of the world eats popcorn. 

So even though I have to make popcorn at least an hour before bedtime so she can actually finish her small bowl before we brush her teeth for the night, I LOVE to watch her eat it. 

She’s my baby…

And she is THE SLOWEST POPCORN EATER IN THE WORLD!

Just call me, "George Clooney"

Wikipedia defines “Lady Killer” as a man exceptionally attractive to women.

Since I am a visual learner, let me give you some common examples…

George Clooney 

Brad Pitt (you’re welcome)

Charlie Sheen (oops! How did that get in there??)

Anywho, you probably don’t notice my mug shot in there…

But that didn’t stop my almost 5-year old son from calling me a “Lady Killer”

when I told him that he could not take his toothbrush to The Pear Tree.

I told you how much he loves his free toothbrushes.

Note to parents out there, apparently he heard the term on a cartoon called T.U.F.F. Puppy on Nick. 

I gotta watch this show- I didn’t know there was a Lady Killer on it!

Gas or Groceries??

Lately, my biggest fear is accidentally selecting Premium gas instead of Regular.

I’ve seen these before, but thought they were funny and, unfortunately, fairly accurate.

I have to check myself several times just to make sure that I’m picking the cheapest of the three gas options at the pump. 

What are we going to do when summer comes along and we’re paying $4-5 a GALLON?

If I could fit all three of my kids on a bike, I might try to drive the 30 miles to work each way… I’d just have to leave for work the night before…. and I would get home until the day after

but it would be totally worth it because my legs would be BANGIN’!

Doesn’t that just hit the spot?

I had ordered a bunch of Spiderman birthday supplies online last weekend and everything finally arrived at our house on Monday.  I was SO excited to see Aidan’s face, because he really is the most appreciative little kid you’ll ever meet.  (For instance, how many kids do you know that SLEEP with the goody bags given to them by their dentist after a check-up?  Well, my son cherishes that little plastic bag with the miniature toothpaste tube, cheap toothbrush, and one plastic toothpick.  He doesn’t let it go for at least a good 2-3 days.) 

Here he is at his first dentist appointment… aww, he looks like a BABY.  I can’t BELIEVE he’s turning 5!

Aidan lived up to my expectation- he was SUPER excited and went through EACH and every decoration, eating utencil, and party favor in that box.  Then, I figured it was time to include him in the invitation-writing/ mailing.  So I filled out most of the invitations, but decided that he should write his name on the line that says who the party is for.  Geeeeez, what seemed like an hour later, he had all 8 invitations filled out and it was time to seal the envelopes.  After licking his first envelope shut, he says, “Mmmmm!  That tastes like a LIZARD!”

I’ll take your word on that one, Aidan.

Cabin Fever

I’m sensing a pattern…

My kids were sick for MLK weekend.

My kids were sick for Valentine’s Day weekend.

My kids were sick the last time I planned to meet up with my friend from JMU, Haley, and her adorable family…

So I should’ve known that the weekend after St. Patty’s Day, and the weekend that I rescheduled our playdate with Haley, one of my kids would inevitably be sick. 

As soon as I picked Kaia up from daycare on Friday afternoon, she sounded different.  She sounded like she couldn’t breathe through her nose.  AND, she asked while we were driving home if she could go straight to her bed to lay down.  As soon as we walked through the door, she did as she said… and didn’t get up for the rest of the night.  Poor baby.

She had a fever all weekend.  As soon as I thought she was on the upswing, the pendulum would swing back the other way and she would be right back in her bed. 

I literally stayed in our house all weekend.  I don’t think I put shoes on once.  But Kaia’s fever, which resulted in cabin fever, led to my gallery wall, fixing of my closet, spray painting an old mirror to hang in my kitchen, organizing my junk drawer, all of my desk drawers, my coat closet, finishing our laundry, and setting a bag of things aside for Good Will.   Woooo- Mama’s on a ROLL! 

Unfortunately, it’s Monday and Kaia woke up with a fever again.  So I’m home from work to tend to my baby. 

On a side note, David is officially DONE with wrestling season!  We’ve got a lot going on this weekend- David’s going PIG hunting, I’m going to a Salt n’ Pepa concert, the kids have a birthday party to go to, and I’ve got to finish planning Aidan’s Spiderman party for his 5th birthday (cue the tears). 

Frame-NO-Phobia

You probably remember my extremely debilitating condition, Frame-O-Phobia, from this post.

Well, consider me CURED.  

I have a gallery wall in my BEDROOM and I am in LUUUUURVE.

  

Dre and Gallery Wall sittin’ in a tree…

K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

First comes LOVE, then comes MARRIAGE!

Then comes the BABY in the BABY CARRIAGE!

Don’t judge me!!

I am well aware that these three pictures are almost IDENTICAL… 

but I can’t help posting them all…

because they. complete. me.

I followed directions from the experts over at Young House Love, 

and my dear friend from JMU, Andy.

They gave me courage…

and I owe them my…

wall.

Now I just need to find the MOST PERFECT pictures of my LIFE to

fill those beautiful frames. 

Check back in a couple of years…

Cumpleanos Feliz, Jefe!

My boss turns 40 tomorrow…

and he happens to be a pretty good sport… 

so naturally we couldn’t let this day go by uncelebrated.

My friend, Priscilla, made us all nametags with his picture on it like this one:

Yes, that says, “Induces Extreme Vomiting.”

and this one…

“Do Not Approach This Man”

And at lunch, we decorated his sexy mini-van with paint markers…

And my personal favorite…

Earlier this year, Matt may or may not have had trouble proving that he was a U.S. citizen, so we were sure to provide him with a framed birth certificate:

It’s hard to read in the pic, but trust me when I say it was very official looking and equally offensive.

I might call in sick on August 12th,

’cause payback is a beeeeeeeyotch.

Pride

When I was little, I hated being different.

It probably didn’t help that we seemed to live in towns with very little diversity.

I was even embarrassed to have my Dad come to my school events, because he made it obvious that I was not like everyone else.

Then, I grew older and became more comfortable in my own skin, more confident… and I developed a self-deprecating humor that I still use to this day.

Somewhere in between 8th grade and high school, I became okay with my almond-shaped eyes and black-brown hair… and I wanted my dad to come to my soccer games and band concerts.

But it wasn’t until I graduated from grad school and went to Japan with my family for two weeks that I really became PROUD of who I was and where I came from.  We went to visit my family in Japan and to see where my dad grew up, but I left there feeling like I knew so much more about myself, and I fell in love with a country that was…

So warm and welcoming…

So full of history…

 So awe-inspriring and beautiful…

So rich in tradition…

And so much fun…

 … that it kills me to know what they are going through right now. 

Thankfully, my family and friends in Japan have told us that they are all alive and managed to escape the earthquake and tsunami.  But I worry for them everyday.  And I worry for the future of Japan. 

The way that the Japanese have conducted themselves over the past week has only made me more proud of where I come from… the calmness of an entire country in the aftermath of what can only be described as armageddon…

…  the heroic nature of the 50 nuclear power workers on a suicide mission

… and the positivity and grace of my Japanese cousins and family friends when they could’ve easily been filled with despair and negative thoughts amazes me and fills me with a profound sense of unworthiness… these are some of the comments from their recent emails…

“Fortunately all of my family are fine and we really thank god that we have a life…”

“We all Kita kanto (NorthEast people ) Japanese face a big crisis but we try our best to take care each other now…”

“Everyone who send me messages and many phone calls, Thank you very much for your concern I really appreciate your kindness.”

“It is still continue to have a little earthquake for every 5mins now… I feel like I am on the ship everyday…”

“Another problem Fukushima Plower Plant has been damaged by Tunami.  We are still in bad condition but as long as we have a life we really appreciate for god.”

“We are sleeping with fear every day but we hope to think positively for everything.”

If they can be positive during a time like this, then I can too.  I owe it to them. 

If you haven’t already made a donation to help the victims of the tsunami, then I would be grateful if you could…

• The American Red Cross: Text REDCROSS to 90999 to give $10.

• Convoy for Hope: Text TSUNAMI to 50555 to give $10.

• GlobalGiving: Text JAPAN to 50555 to give $10.

(Verizon Wireless, AT&T, Sprint and T-Mobile are waiving texting fees for donations.)

You may also always visit the Red Cross website if you’d like to help.

Thank you.